Insecurity is a funny thing. Right when you can be feeling your happiest, most carefree it rears its’ ugly little head and smacks you in the face.
I find insecurity a strange emotion to deal with. For years, I would project my insecurity onto other people. “He/She/They *must* think this of me and therefore I feel insecure about X”. But more and more I’m realising that insecurity isn’t something which comes from anyone else, it comes from me. I’m the only one who can control how secure I feel in myself.
Sure, there can be outside stimulus to support those feelings – and boy is the insecure brain really good at finding things to justify its existence – but deep down it’s about how I see myself when I look in the mirror, not how others see me.
I don’t have the magic cure to stop myself feeling insecure – if I did then I’d be bottling that bad boy and living in a big happy mansion – but knowing the answer lies somewhere inside of me is a good enough start for me.
Having recently started the #100happydays challenge, I’ve decided to try to work on my own self-confidence within it also – as a sort of mini-challenge to myself. Every now and then, in my happy days challenge I’m going to try to choose something about myself I’m happy about. It won’t always be easy, but this is about baby steps.